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hi all

i just want to post to my blog as i do feel low and i do need help from some one i can not access counciling so that is out of the question but i do love to write about how i feel is it possible to have a word with a care giver i will look in to doing this maybe but the problem is they are to busy allways so i do not know how much time they will be able to sit with me as i am not funded for this support but i am sure we could come to an agreement some how but having said this coming to an agreement under the terms i am not even sure how they would get away with this as i do not have a case worker who is there as in scotland there service is trash and alot of people do not want any thing to do with them at all and that is the truth menny care givers or familys who need them do not want them as they are a big pain and that has been the case for years going back years ago our system is trash to get help for people with needs and i wish it could be better but its all down to money and how its spent each year or each months and i could wright a wish list but that would not fix it at all so what i have been doing is taking part in lists for emails a small bit more until my feelings kam down but it could take weeks or months for this and i am hurting as people have made me feel this way with out them even saying we were in the wrong if tracey is there i will ask her she has did partly a corse on counciling but folks i wished she did the rest as any thing you say or need allways happens in a timely manner as well as for dear nicola if she was there she could deal with them as she is really good at that allways has been its one of her skills that she uses even talking to them is going to be hard as i feel dead shy this time and i know nicola can not help this but folks i will miss her alot this time especially as she knows her job un like some of them who are there and i do not know how i feel about my new person as she is dead busy so i will need to see about how that goes i am thinking of keeping her as i may keep her as just lets say there has been a  massive break down on me speaking to the team  and she has been there 28 years and her name is linda so she is full time but i will wait to see her as i have got a few private issues i want to speak to her about if they happen i would feel better but in the mean time i will carry on my emails and might even go on this blog

later folks